I remember the triumph of wining a cricket match & I still remember the pain of losing finals.People often tell me these lame words
- I should focus on wining.
- I should never let anyone suffer because of my deeds
- Winning or losing is just part of the game
I was never & still is not in agreement with these lines. I was told these four lines by same person with different names in diffrent ways. Every time he was in different role,but I sense same words, same meaning & same cowardliness.
It's long & I don't exactly remember when I realised it.Probably my first cricket coach told me that.I lost a big match & was crying alone.He walked to me & sat beside me.Pat my back & said those golden words which still drives my life.
"If triumph of winning is not greater than fear of losing for you.You cannot play.If you want to play; just for the sake of playing a good game,you won't get it.Every game is played by one rule & that's called Wining.YOU MUST PLAY TO WIN."
I remember I challenged his theory. Much senior to me,he listened patiently & quenched all my queries.I asked him how can I beat someone by following killer instinct. I am here for playing the game, not for hurting people.He looked straight in my eye & I still remember the look.Those eye told me I am wrong & those words just carved the fact in my heart
"If You will win,someone will lose".
You can't fight against it.We all want to live for others & give happiness to them.But it always boils down to a choice for me. Either quite playing the game or bear the pain of making others lose.
I still face a lot people who remain in constant dilemma of what to do. I saw them choosing the middle way & uttering the words like 'I play to play'. Trust me; no one in this world play to play.Many time I feel like quitting the game but I cannot, I am born to play it & I will continue to do so.Every time I saw the look & pain of losing in some one's eyes I regret my wining but I can't stop doing that because that's the role I was assigned. That's why we all play.That's why we call it life. It gives you win & It pairs it with pain to someone.
As a player I will continue to play for win but my heart should & will feel the pain of those who will lose because of me.I am not saying I will always win.That's absurd.That's impossible.
But If I lose I will understand, I need to win.I will understand & should forgive the joy shown by my opponent.I know I am sounding emotional here But that's what make us human.We are animals with emotions.I have to play like an animal, I have to win like an animal but in the evening I have every right to feel the pain of those who lost because of me.
I am not just an animal, I am a human too.
Arpit
